Sometimes it’s hard. This morning on the way to the airport in Paris I couldn’t help but thinking about how everything is changing. I realized that I know I love clb more than the world but that I can’t feel it that I’ve actually managed to block it and if he were to leave I’d be fine. My world would no longer crumble. He doesn’t need nor love me, so I shall simply respond the same way. A tad childish mayhaps but I see no other option. I can’t afford to love him anymore. Then also I realized that next semester I’ll be doing something else. I am not even sure of what at the moment only time will tell… So many things and thoughts are in my head. I had a wonderful time in Paris. I needed that break. That get-away-from-everything kind of break. I just had fun, plenty of fun.